how to set personal boundaries in business
Boundaries seem to be a buzzword at the moment and they apply to all areas of your life! Setting up personal boundaries in your small business is a must-have strategy for avoiding burnout and overwhelm.
Remember that self care is not selfish – it’s essential for your health and happiness and a cornerstone of a successful, sustainable business.
So, what are boundaries?
“A personal clear limit for how people behave toward us.” If you are new to boundary work and want to read more, please check out Dr. Nicole Lepera at The Holistic Psychologist. She is totally amazing and her work will change your life!
How to set personal boundaries in business?
Setting boundaries in your small business can be challenging. Most of us want to do an amazing job and be of service to our customers and clients, so we overwork, undercharge and allow all sorts of behaviours that over time can erode our productivity, happiness and wellness.
It’s not that people intentionally try to take advantage of us (for the most part!), it’s just that they assume if we haven’t said any different that what they are asking for or expecting is okay!
Everyone has really different ideas on what is acceptable behaviour and what isn’t. We can’t rely on an expectation that other people will have the same values and boundaries as us.
So it’s really up to us to take responsibility for ourselves and to practice really good self care with boundary setting.
Here are some basics that can get you started:
- Work out what boundaries you need to set.
Where to start? Anywhere you feel currently feel resentful, overwhelmed and stressed is a sure sign you need some better boundaries in that area.
Are you getting annoyed dealing with work on a weekend and late at night? Establish clear working hours and stick to them! You might need to set up alarms and reminders to help you get into the habit.
Have you got people calling you all day long? Establish how and when you are able to be contacted. You might decide you want to communicate via email only and calls need to be booked in on certain days. Let people know how often you check emails and in what time frame you will respond.
Are people late in paying you or disrespecting your time? Set up systems and policies to better manage these processes. You might need to only accept pre-payment or enforce cancelled booking fees.
Do people want to ‘pick your brain’ over a coffee? Let them know what your consultation rates are.
2. Communicate your boundaries.
Let people know clearly, firmly and nicely what your boundaries are. This might look like having your working hours listed on your website, social media accounts and email signature. It might be setting up systems and processes like only taking bookings online.
I have a Welcome Pack for clients which sets out my working hours, how to contact me, time-frames for responses and all sorts of information about how I work, so the expectations are clearly communicated with the first contact.
3. Have consistency.
Setting boundaries and following through takes practice, discipline and consistency. Avoid the lure of answering emails or taking a phone call outside your working times.
In most instances, the sense of urgency and expectation of always being available comes from ourselves, not from others! Letting things slide here and there will lead to resentment and overwhelm again.
It might be useful to assess your work day on a regular basis and see how you went with your boundaries and where you might need to make adjustments.
4. Saying no.
Oh boy, we often have difficulty with this one! You don’t have to say yes to everything and everyone. If you feel like a request is infringing on your boundaries or your wellbeing, just say no.
No explanations are necessary! If you want to be more gentle, saying something like, ‘thank you but that won’t work for me right now’ is simple and effective.
Saying no might also look like ending relationships with suppliers, customers, clients or employees that just aren’t working or that don’t honour your boundaries.
5. Ditch the people pleasing!
Once you have established your boundaries, communicated them and are consistently practising them, you may come up against some opposition, especially if people are used to you not having any boundaries.
Calmly and clearly keep communicating your boundaries and enforcing them. Remember that old saying, “you teach people how to treat you?”
How people respond to your boundaries is not your issue to deal with. Stay strong and don’t be swayed!
6. Personal v Business
Just as we set up boundaries for our business, we may also have to do this in reverse for our personal life.
Will you take personal calls and visits during your working hours? Do you need to communicate to family and friends what your work hours are and when you will be free for them?
Do your family and friends expect free products, consultations or services? Where do you want to draw the line?
7. Take breaks, weekends and holidays
Take that lunch break – you need to eat! Schedule in time to eat lunch sitting down and relaxing. Did you know that eating stressed and on the run is really bad for your digestion? One of my amazing clients and naturopath, Iwa Brown has some more info here.
Schedule in and really honour your breaks, weekends and holiday time. Don’t answer emails while you are trying to eat lunch, don’t be available for calls while you are on holidays. Set up auto-responders and give people plenty of notice that you are uncontactable.
Deep rest and rejuvenation is vital for your wellness and managing a long-term sustainable business. Finding time for yourself when you are a business owner and a parent can be a challenging but it can be done!
8. Value yourself
One thing that can often be an obstacle in setting clear boundaries is that we don’t value ourselves enough. We may think we might be too inexperienced or not qualified enough, so we go above and beyond to make up for our perceived inadequacies.
The ironic thing is that overworking affects our productivity and quality of work so we can end up not giving our best self to our business. Self care is a such an important strategy to be able to perform at a high level!
Every customer and client matters so much to us as small business owners and if you are in a personal service role, you can form close relationships and come to care about them very deeply. That is a really special thing!
But please make sure you value yourself equally and dedicate the same amount of care to yourself. By doing so, we also become valuable role models for everyone around us (including our kids!).
Setting boundaries and sticking to them can be a challenge!
Practice observing situations and experiences with curiosity, not judgement. Take note where you are feeling resentful or overwhelmed and keep adjusting your boundaries accordingly.
It make take some practice and many adjustments until you feel like you have a good balance. But do persevere, because it will ensure you avoid burnout, improve your health and happiness and create a sustainable business that you love.
I am still a work in progress with all of this myself but I thought I would share with you what I have been learning about how to set personal boundaries in business. I hope it’s been useful and you have been inspired to start taking better care of yourself!
I would love to hear from you. What boundaries have you set in your business? What do you need to start doing? Let me know.